03012014

So every time when I update my blog, is the time I am depressing. When I feel very alone and I have no one to talk to, maybe I do have, but I just don't want to trouble them or make them listen to my nonsense.

There are so many things that are making me depress and non of them can be solved.

Its a brand new year, but nothing is changing for me yet. I want a new start too, but I'm just stuck here, without any improvement. First of all, I'm super worry about my STPM results, I know I didn't do well, although I tried really hard. I know I shouldn't regret of the decision of taking STPM but nothing goes right because of this STPM. My results are going to look extremely ugly and nothing can be done. I'm planning to retake sem 3 exam though, which is why I will not commit to a full time job yet. I'm planning to pursue Dentistry or Medicine, but these two courses rarely get scholarships. I feel bad to use my parents' hard earned money, that's why i hope gov unis will take me, but that is also nearly impossible. Taiwan is my one and only hope for now. Sigh. TT

As for my 9 months free time, for now I'm planning to take some part time jobs, as CNY is coming soon and also sem 3 retake. I HAVE SENT IN 7 EMAILS OF MY RESUME TO 7 DIFFERENT RECRUITERS AND I STILL DON'T GET ANY REPLIES. My parents are constantly, consistently, indirectly hinting me that I'm doing nothing at home and being so useless. That's almost what they meant, through my understanding at least. It's really irritating and frustrating because I HAD MY PLANS, and I'm definitely not trying to be useless.

My hope for this 2014 is to at least, get into a course. If I have no other ways to get into Medicine or Dentistry then at least just cut off my hopes and leave me with some other choices, then at least i can know my future career and set a goal to brighten it up. Better than now, I don't even know my future career. TT