0
04042014
No matter how hard i try, i still look chinese. -.-
Even make up can't make me look like korean T.T
P.s : Watched too much korean dramas and shows. Ignore me. :/
Posted by
emily shum
07022014
For now, i think i enjoy meeting new people, talk to them and learn from them. No matter who they are, they sure have their own experiences, stories, lessons, and many more. This is why i started socializing more with people around me. Most of the time i do gain a lot through conversations with people, but at times i just had to deal with some nonsense.
Although this year i have no work and no class on chinese new year, but i still feel the least cny mood. Even though my family hosted cny open house twice this year, i still feel dull. Maybe because i don't have a hometown and everyone else is back to their hometown. I feel so lonely in this big empty city. :/
I want to settle down so badly. Now I'm like floating in the middle of no where, without direction. Stpm is making me endlessly waiting. Ughhhhh.
Although this year i have no work and no class on chinese new year, but i still feel the least cny mood. Even though my family hosted cny open house twice this year, i still feel dull. Maybe because i don't have a hometown and everyone else is back to their hometown. I feel so lonely in this big empty city. :/
I want to settle down so badly. Now I'm like floating in the middle of no where, without direction. Stpm is making me endlessly waiting. Ughhhhh.
Posted by
emily shum
13012014
颓废。颓废的日子，过了一个多月。实在是。。。受不了。 颓废的感觉很糟糕，整天无所事事混着过日子。 我喜欢充实的感觉，这样才让我感觉到活着的意义。
So after i said that sentence my mum would be like
'Who says there's nothing to do?! There's plenty of housework!'
My dad would be like
'I'll pay you instead, you just do whatever your mum ask you to do.'
My mum seriously is the biggest biggest huge huge nagger in this entire world. I don't think anyone nags better than her even my grandmother. Btw my dad said he'll pay me instead because my mum has been nagging to my dad about me a lot, that my dad can't even take it anymore. She has this serious cleanliness disease she can't bare to see any dirty spots in the house. It's not that I don't want to help her, but I think housework has no ends and we shouldn't rush it, just do it comfortably. I don't help her she nags, I help her she also nags. Staying at home is much more worst than studying stpm. -_-
Another thing is every single time i do part time jobs, my pay sure all gone seriously. I think I work more than most of my friends, but my bank has the least money. They have 4 digits to 5 digits, I work so hard at last also 2 digits wtf. I think my parents seriously are con man and con woman. Now I look at my previous pay slips I wonder where my money went, except EPF still there others all gone T-T.
Form 3 started working as promoter at Bonita, then Red Modani. Form 4 again Red Modani. Form 5 Din Tai Fung. Form 6 HSBC. Gather all the jobs I've done and angpau money I should have 5 digits in my account now. :(
So first, they made me pay my braces, then they made me pay my smartphone (i didn't have a proper phone) and telephone bills, then made me pay my driving lessons, then they made me pay my laptop (for assignments), then my brother also con me. I gave him some add on money to buy PS2 and smartphone. Then i gave my parents and grandmother allowance when i get my pay. Then during events they made me pay dinner bills. Then I got convinced by world vision and adopted a Philippine child. Oh ya, they made me pay my stpm college fees and tuition fees too. I paid almost everything. True that those are my own things but normally for other children their parents will pay for them. :(
I'm curious this time what are they going to say. I will try my best to protect my money!
I think my ears are made of cotton, lol get it?? I'm super super easily convinced. And family is my another weakness. So if they act pity, I'll give them everything. T-T.
My 2014 resolution? >> 'protect my $$$.' lol
So after i said that sentence my mum would be like
'Who says there's nothing to do?! There's plenty of housework!'
My dad would be like
'I'll pay you instead, you just do whatever your mum ask you to do.'
My mum seriously is the biggest biggest huge huge nagger in this entire world. I don't think anyone nags better than her even my grandmother. Btw my dad said he'll pay me instead because my mum has been nagging to my dad about me a lot, that my dad can't even take it anymore. She has this serious cleanliness disease she can't bare to see any dirty spots in the house. It's not that I don't want to help her, but I think housework has no ends and we shouldn't rush it, just do it comfortably. I don't help her she nags, I help her she also nags. Staying at home is much more worst than studying stpm. -_-
Another thing is every single time i do part time jobs, my pay sure all gone seriously. I think I work more than most of my friends, but my bank has the least money. They have 4 digits to 5 digits, I work so hard at last also 2 digits wtf. I think my parents seriously are con man and con woman. Now I look at my previous pay slips I wonder where my money went, except EPF still there others all gone T-T.
Form 3 started working as promoter at Bonita, then Red Modani. Form 4 again Red Modani. Form 5 Din Tai Fung. Form 6 HSBC. Gather all the jobs I've done and angpau money I should have 5 digits in my account now. :(
So first, they made me pay my braces, then they made me pay my smartphone (i didn't have a proper phone) and telephone bills, then made me pay my driving lessons, then they made me pay my laptop (for assignments), then my brother also con me. I gave him some add on money to buy PS2 and smartphone. Then i gave my parents and grandmother allowance when i get my pay. Then during events they made me pay dinner bills. Then I got convinced by world vision and adopted a Philippine child. Oh ya, they made me pay my stpm college fees and tuition fees too. I paid almost everything. True that those are my own things but normally for other children their parents will pay for them. :(
I'm curious this time what are they going to say. I will try my best to protect my money!
I think my ears are made of cotton, lol get it?? I'm super super easily convinced. And family is my another weakness. So if they act pity, I'll give them everything. T-T.
My 2014 resolution? >> 'protect my $$$.' lol
Posted by
emily shum
09012014
How should i describe this kind of feeling. So my best-est friend asked me to go out with her friends, which are people who i saw their faces before but never ever talked to each other before. I just thought that i have to help her since freedom for her is very rare? hahahaa And she really really wanted to go so badly. But luckily there's another brother like best friend Eng Hong there, made it so much more better for me. :)
My friend once told me that I'm that kind of person that are really really good at setting up the awkward atmosphere. I would just avoid eye contact with new people i met and answer their questions with nod or shake and the atmosphere will eventually run into '...' '...' '...'. So this time I told myself that I need to get rid of that! I tried my best to be very friendly and avoid awkwardness. But thank to the escape room game which requires team work helped to made us communicate more plus her friends are funny and interesting people. :)
The other side of it was mehh, but i think it's really normal though. I can't understand their inner jokes or their class-talk. So I'll just keep quiet and stare somewhere O_O. Then when they talk about their next outings and gatherings I'll go O_O again lol. And and and the weirdest part is you get to see the one who is having a crush on your best-est friend. So you can see like his eyes and concentration are always on your best friend but you're beside her, i feel like an extra pole blocking his view lol. I tried to make some space for them, i really tried lol.
In some details, I can see that her friends are really nice people though. At first i thought no one noticed both of us are girls anymore because of the continuous teasing she got from them really shocked me lol. Reminded me of my bunch of long lost heng dai's T-T. Right after i thought no one was seeing us as girls, then suddenly this happened. Both me and my best friend wanted to go to a bakery to get something but we had to walk down the alley to the other end of the street, then one of her friend said a guy should go with us. Awwwwwww. Although i don't know who said it but (Y) thumbs up lol.
So yeah, mixed feelings. Ouch part was, when a guy asked me why I came when i don't know them. I mean he was just pure curious and not offending me but i didn't know what's the best answer I could give lol. And people who said 'Nice to meet you'. I mean that sentence should sound good but it somehow sounded like nice-to-meet-you-this-time-and-i-don't-think-we'll-ever-meet-again. lol. Or maybe it's just me.
Conclusion, I'm happy to see my best-est friend to have another bunch of funny and nice people around her besides us. So at least when we're busy or away, there are still people there for her. I'm feeling touched and blessed to see her living her live with full of happiness around nice people, because she totally deserves it and more to come! Love you my best-est friend Chow Zi Huey! :')
My friend once told me that I'm that kind of person that are really really good at setting up the awkward atmosphere. I would just avoid eye contact with new people i met and answer their questions with nod or shake and the atmosphere will eventually run into '...' '...' '...'. So this time I told myself that I need to get rid of that! I tried my best to be very friendly and avoid awkwardness. But thank to the escape room game which requires team work helped to made us communicate more plus her friends are funny and interesting people. :)
The other side of it was mehh, but i think it's really normal though. I can't understand their inner jokes or their class-talk. So I'll just keep quiet and stare somewhere O_O. Then when they talk about their next outings and gatherings I'll go O_O again lol. And and and the weirdest part is you get to see the one who is having a crush on your best-est friend. So you can see like his eyes and concentration are always on your best friend but you're beside her, i feel like an extra pole blocking his view lol. I tried to make some space for them, i really tried lol.
In some details, I can see that her friends are really nice people though. At first i thought no one noticed both of us are girls anymore because of the continuous teasing she got from them really shocked me lol. Reminded me of my bunch of long lost heng dai's T-T. Right after i thought no one was seeing us as girls, then suddenly this happened. Both me and my best friend wanted to go to a bakery to get something but we had to walk down the alley to the other end of the street, then one of her friend said a guy should go with us. Awwwwwww. Although i don't know who said it but (Y) thumbs up lol.
So yeah, mixed feelings. Ouch part was, when a guy asked me why I came when i don't know them. I mean he was just pure curious and not offending me but i didn't know what's the best answer I could give lol. And people who said 'Nice to meet you'. I mean that sentence should sound good but it somehow sounded like nice-to-meet-you-this-time-and-i-don't-think-we'll-ever-meet-again. lol. Or maybe it's just me.
Conclusion, I'm happy to see my best-est friend to have another bunch of funny and nice people around her besides us. So at least when we're busy or away, there are still people there for her. I'm feeling touched and blessed to see her living her live with full of happiness around nice people, because she totally deserves it and more to come! Love you my best-est friend Chow Zi Huey! :')
Posted by
emily shum
03012014
So every time when I update my blog, is the time I am depressing. When I feel very alone and I have no one to talk to, maybe I do have, but I just don't want to trouble them or make them listen to my nonsense.
There are so many things that are making me depress and non of them can be solved.
Its a brand new year, but nothing is changing for me yet. I want a new start too, but I'm just stuck here, without any improvement. First of all, I'm super worry about my STPM results, I know I didn't do well, although I tried really hard. I know I shouldn't regret of the decision of taking STPM but nothing goes right because of this STPM. My results are going to look extremely ugly and nothing can be done. I'm planning to retake sem 3 exam though, which is why I will not commit to a full time job yet. I'm planning to pursue Dentistry or Medicine, but these two courses rarely get scholarships. I feel bad to use my parents' hard earned money, that's why i hope gov unis will take me, but that is also nearly impossible. Taiwan is my one and only hope for now. Sigh. TT
As for my 9 months free time, for now I'm planning to take some part time jobs, as CNY is coming soon and also sem 3 retake. I HAVE SENT IN 7 EMAILS OF MY RESUME TO 7 DIFFERENT RECRUITERS AND I STILL DON'T GET ANY REPLIES. My parents are constantly, consistently, indirectly hinting me that I'm doing nothing at home and being so useless. That's almost what they meant, through my understanding at least. It's really irritating and frustrating because I HAD MY PLANS, and I'm definitely not trying to be useless.
My hope for this 2014 is to at least, get into a course. If I have no other ways to get into Medicine or Dentistry then at least just cut off my hopes and leave me with some other choices, then at least i can know my future career and set a goal to brighten it up. Better than now, I don't even know my future career. TT
There are so many things that are making me depress and non of them can be solved.
Its a brand new year, but nothing is changing for me yet. I want a new start too, but I'm just stuck here, without any improvement. First of all, I'm super worry about my STPM results, I know I didn't do well, although I tried really hard. I know I shouldn't regret of the decision of taking STPM but nothing goes right because of this STPM. My results are going to look extremely ugly and nothing can be done. I'm planning to retake sem 3 exam though, which is why I will not commit to a full time job yet. I'm planning to pursue Dentistry or Medicine, but these two courses rarely get scholarships. I feel bad to use my parents' hard earned money, that's why i hope gov unis will take me, but that is also nearly impossible. Taiwan is my one and only hope for now. Sigh. TT
As for my 9 months free time, for now I'm planning to take some part time jobs, as CNY is coming soon and also sem 3 retake. I HAVE SENT IN 7 EMAILS OF MY RESUME TO 7 DIFFERENT RECRUITERS AND I STILL DON'T GET ANY REPLIES. My parents are constantly, consistently, indirectly hinting me that I'm doing nothing at home and being so useless. That's almost what they meant, through my understanding at least. It's really irritating and frustrating because I HAD MY PLANS, and I'm definitely not trying to be useless.
My hope for this 2014 is to at least, get into a course. If I have no other ways to get into Medicine or Dentistry then at least just cut off my hopes and leave me with some other choices, then at least i can know my future career and set a goal to brighten it up. Better than now, I don't even know my future career. TT
Posted by
emily shum
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